2026-05-03
I've recently been given more than a few opportunities to give advice to a few friends and fellow Christians stuck in lust. I thought I'd write it out in a formal articulated format instead of typing it out each time. I have struggled a lot with lust in the past, since I was young. It was my worst enemy. But God freed me of it and gave me the tools to mitigate it. A Christian seeking advice on this issue will often find things like "just pray" or "just trust in God." Obviously these answers are not wrong, and both prayer and trust in God will certainly lead you down the right path. But faith is closely followed by action, and you need to take physical, practical, and applicable steps to combat your lust. I've learned a lot through trial and error, and everything I learned is from the lessons that God has taught me. This is mainly applicable to men, but I'm sure that women can find value in these techniques. This was also written assuming the reader has a porn addiction, but it can apply to sex addiction too. In case it wasn't obvious, every time I mention "sinning" or "giving in," I'm talking about masturbation.
I believe the most important verse to understand temptation is 1 Corinthians 10:13:
"No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it." (ESV)
Many young-in-their-faith Christians read this and think something along these lines: "Oh, awesome! I can go wherever I want and look at whatever I want, and it doesn't matter because I can resist anything!" But is that what we're called to do? James 4:7 says that we're supposed to flee from sexual temptation, not to test how close we can get to the line without crossing it. We know what temptation is. It's an urge from the enemy, never from God, that tries to get us to sin against God. We know that the enemy will try to get us to sin at all costs. The enemy is smart, the enemy injects unwanted thoughts into our heads, and the enemy plays all sides all at once.
What if God-given endurance is meant to enable us in an earlier stage of our temptation? I'll give an example. Think about an alcoholic trying to remain abstinent. He's alone at home and he gets a craving for a drink; that's the first temptation. He then decides to get into his car and drive to the bar; second temptation. He sits down at the bar and orders a drink; third temptation. He stares at the glass between his hands; fourth temptation. Are we called to get all the way to the fourth temptation until we decide to cash in on the endurance that God gives us? Why shouldn't he have decided to distract himself at home, or have driven somewhere else when he got into his car, or decided to go to the pool tables instead of sitting down at the bar? Are we called to resist only when we've ignored God's many warnings and the sin is right up in our faces? No. Because when you get that close, you might not be able to resist anymore. Your body hijacks your brain and the flesh takes over. James 1:15 talks about a sort of 'life cycle' of sin:
"Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death." (ESV)
Would you rather cut off the temptation before it has grown at all, or would you rather wait until it is about to give birth?
Your addiction may be so bad and your will so weak that giving in will feel inevitable. In which case, you need to set up layers of defense. Think about it like this: there is not a single lock or wall or security system that can keep a criminal from breaking into a building; but they all can delay the criminal until the cops arrive. In security theory, this is called 'defense-in-depth.' The idea is that an intrusion is always inevitable, but can be delayed and mitigated. This can be applied to lustful habits.
You need a web browser extension (I use AdGuard AdBlocker) that can be used to block porn sites. You need to modify your /etc/hosts file to block porn sites. Use your operating system's firewall to block the IPs of the domains that you use to sin (find domain IPs on nslookup.io). If you have admin access to your router, use the admin panel to block domains/IPs. Most phones have an NSFW blocker but apps can be installed to accomplish this as well. Do more research into apps you can install to restrict porn sites.
When you get the urge to sin, you will naturally want to undo these defense mechanisms. But the more there are the more time you have to stop-and-think moment. By the way, if any of these sites double as social sites that you only occasionally use to sin (twitter, 4chan, tumblr, etc.) you HAVE to cut them out. Your internet friends will be fine without you, what's important is that you don't sin.
Triggers don't always cause you to sin immediately. Urges can culminate slowly through looking at things that aren't inherently sexual. Don't look at people you feel an intense physical attraction to (real or 2d depending on what kind of addiction you have) at all. If you see someone attractive out in public, avert your eyes. If you see one in a video, skip ahead or stop watching. If you're watching something on my phone and you see a trigger, you can cover it with my thumb (probably better to just skip). Don't play video games with attractive characters or "gooner games" (like ZZZ, Stellar Blade, Overwatch, 'gacha' games, etc.). This rule can apply to SO many things. Be analytical with your life. This step may sound like overkill, but triggers are the silent killer that lead you directly into sin. The more you starve the flesh, the weaker it becomes. But if you constantly feed it by your sight it'll get stronger.
Your heart (and the enemy) is going to trying to try SO bad to convince you that you need 'it'. Common excuses are:
These are ALL lies (except the fact that God will forgive you). If you give in while using any of these excuses the enemy will have gotten his small victory. God does NOT want you to sin in order to get closer to Him.
Analyze what your environment looks like when you sin. Are you in bed with your phone? Are you in the bathroom? Is anyone around? Common environmental factors that are conducive to sin are privacy, comfort, and access. Make a personal rule to not use your phone in bed. Go for a walk when you get the urge. Hop in a VC with someone. Don't use your phone while in bed or in the bathroom. If you can, move your device to a more public part of your living space (i.e. the living room). Bring your laptop to a public study hall/library. Find something productive to do to distract yourself. Distracting yourself is not 'delaying the inevitable.' It's about starving the flesh for as long as possible. It's going to suck bad starting out, but it will get easier. Remember that the pain of giving in is worse than the pain of fighting it.
When you get the urge, say a quick prayer to make it go away. It really does work. Jesus gives us the authority to rebuke and command demons in His name. Plus, we have to bring everything to God in prayer. Say a prayer as soon as you feel the urge, cut it off as soon as it comes up. Something like "Lord Jesus, please rebuke any thoughts that are not from You." or "God, please empty my head of evil thoughts and fill it back up with thoughts of You." can suffice, but you could change it to fit your situation. If it doesn't work the first time, keep praying until it gets better (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
This is the weirdest and most unorthodox of all the steps, but bear with me. Imagine, for a moment, that you're being heavily tempted and you decide you're going to give in. But before you do, you go to your dad and give him a rundown of everything you're about to do. And then imagine him watching you while you do it. This scenario would make any sane person extremely grossed out, embarrassed, and ashamed just to even hear it. But this is true of our Heavenly Father. He knows all our thoughts, He knows what we are going to do before we do it, and He sees everything you do. Do you really want your Father to watch you defile your own body?
This step is the most important of them all. We're going to fall because we're not perfect. When we do, it's important to run straight back to God. Do not focus on seeing yourself as marked, tainted, or unworthy. It's okay to feel guilty though. St. Paul wrote that there is "godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death." (2 Corinthians 7:10). This is exemplified in the Gospels with Judas and Peter. Both betrayed Jesus (Matthew 26:47–50, Matthew 26:69–74) and afterwards realized the weight and consequence of their actions (Matthew 27:3-4, Matthew 26:75). But Judas harbored a worldly grief that led to his death (Matthew 27:5) and Peter harbored a Godly grief that led to his repentance (John 21:15-17). Why would we allow our guilt to get between us and our Creator? Especially when "He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins" (1 John 1:9)?
In my battle with guilt and shame, there is one verse that comforted me the most:
"For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.”" (Hebrews 8:12)
This is amazing news! He says that He will remember our sins no more. Do you have any idea what that means? When He forgives us, it's not just Him crossing our name off of the list of punishment. It means our sin has been completely and utterly zeroed out, stricken from every record that is and ever was. If He chooses to forget our sins, then why would we cling on to them so tightly? Micah 7:19 says: "He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea." After he's crushed our sins, are you going to try to run over and resuscitate them? Are you going to dive to the bottom of the sea to frantically search for the sin that He has cast out? His forgiveness is not a forgiveness that asks "Remember what you did last time?" It's a forgiveness that asks "What sin?" He has made all these things possible by sending His Son to die and rise for those sins (John 3:16-17). Our God is such a merciful and loving God.
You don't have to follow all these steps. They're just things I've personally learned over the years that have helped me. I'm sure the applicability depends on the severity of your addiction. If you are neck-deep in sin, it would probably be best to follow all of them. Remember to be analytical with your life and think of creative ways to keep in step with the Spirit (Galatians 5:25).
P.S.: I know I said I would abstain from preachy posts. This one doesn't count.
Click here for a roll-up of all Scripture referenced in this article.
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